two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
