Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
