He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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