just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
