Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
