If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
