i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize