Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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