We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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