Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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