I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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