I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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