Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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