help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
