porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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