Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
