Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
