I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
