Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
