Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
