we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
