I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
