Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
