Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize