my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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