she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
