There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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