I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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