it wasn't lemon gatorade
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
