if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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