Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
