Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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