Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
