it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
