yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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