she was so not down for the gang bang
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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