Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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