stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
