I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
