I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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