her vagine was all disorganized.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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