Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
