my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize