No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize