That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
