There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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