OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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