It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
