I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Randomize