I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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