Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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