He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
