I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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