Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
