Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize