Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
