Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
