You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize