I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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