Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
