So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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