somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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