Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
