just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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