you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
